don't panic

Fic: Lust in Translation, Part 1 (Chapters 1-3)

Summary: Multilingual, cross-continental Zebraswan shenanigans, in which Johnny's failtastic French skills get him into deep merde. Mostly comedy/fluff, with a smidge of angst in the middle. An angst sandwich, if you will.

Characters/Pairings: Johnny Weir/Stéphane Lambiel, Brian Joubert, Tomáš Verner, small Belgian children
Word Count: ~14,000
Warnings: An awful lot of sex references and some very non-graphic actual sex; strong language; bad jokes; gratuitous and possibly inaccurate European languages (various). Also, I had to create a "fluff" tag just for this fic. You have been warned.
Disclaimer: This didn't happen. This won't ever happen. Which is tragic, really.

Author's note: This is a repost, but it's pretty much the same as the original except with fewer mistakes. I've also smushed the shorter parts together to make decent length chapters - scroll down to the bottom of each chapter for translations of the French, German etc. Merci à tomboy_typist for help checking some of the French. I love you like Johnny loves sequins, except more.

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bubble chamber

I feel REALLY ill today

...I just thought you'd all like to know.

Thank goodness there are so many episodes of "Whose Line?" in the world. Stephen Fry's non-rapping is legend...

wait for it


wait for it


...dary, and I think I may have fallen a little bit in love with John Sessions (in a platonic fashion...).

...if anyone wishes to comment with something cheering it would not go amiss...

If you're wondering what's wrong with me I have a hideous cold and also a terrible affliction of which the main symptom is overuse of ellipses...
evil laugh

Fic: Before A Fall

Summary: I was not entirely satisfied with Steerpike’s character development in various places, so this would be my canon-spanning attempt to resolve that.

Characters/Pairings: Steerpike mostly, also Prunesquallor, Fuchsia, Titus; gen but for a hint of Steerpike/Fuchsia.
Word Count: ~3,000
Disclaimer: Alas, not mine.
Warnings: Nope
A/N: This is book canon but probably works fine with the miniseries if you’re thus inclined. I have tried to emulate Peake’s style, for better or worse - verdicts on this decision welcome.

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evil laugh


Oh look, me again.

I watched the first episode of Glee and it was neither brilliant nor particularly terrible, but I'm glad it exists because more than anything I want Charlie Brooker* to review it:

"The show takes place in Cliche High, a nightmarish Orwellian vision in which the popular kids are blackmailed by a supposedly inspirational teacher using planted evidence into taking part in warbled renditions of frankly overplayed musical hits, along with every gurning high school stereotype imaginable - there's the sassy black one, the gay one, the nervous Asian girl and that one whose nose is hatching a plot to take over her face, played here by the poor man's... actress with the voice of a castrated Snow White. And the worst part is, the brain-dead blackmailed jock ends up enjoying it, the little sod!"

*If you don't know who Charlie Brooker is then shame on you get thee to YouTube, he's brilliant. Or here he is on My Super-Sweet Sixteen (mild profanity warning):

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